RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPIRITUAL #3

Continued from Part II of RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPIRITUAL!

We looked at REASONS FOR MISPLACED PRIORITIES IN RELATIONSHIPS and the Responsibilities that many underrates and undermine in Relationships as a result of misplaced priorities. They are;

1. The Agreement factor. 2. Lack of proper preparations and 3. Lack of Vision...

Lack of Vision;

Vision can be defined as the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom. Having a foresight, creative power and inventiveness, innovation, inspiration, intuition, inspiration and so on. I deliberately chose to use more synonyms to ask a most demanding question in life; what is your purpose in life? What in life inspires your decisions, your actions, or your choices? This will help checkmate your emotions and sense of decisions, and help guide your sentiments. Ask yourself what your core values and living objectives are? And the missions will be as clear as the crystal. Vision will always give you direction as to why, who, where and when and what kind of relationship is fit for where and when and with who and why. Your vision enables you to know the size and the design of your cloth, moreso the kind of design you desire to make for particular occasions, (relationship journey or life experiences in general). Don’t underestimate the role of vision, it has the power to dispel cranks and misfits early enough to save you time and other valuable resources.

Lack of vision welcomes anything as long as it serves the immediate deals, I mean temporal gratifications that demean your purpose and aspirations. Like I said, relationships differ in sizes, designs and occasions, determined by individual vision and values. Like attracts like, a lion cannot form alliance or association with a cow no matter how big the cow might look like, that’s impossible.

Lack of Maintenance Culture;

Maintenance is key, another word for it, is to preserve, repair or to look after. To care is the fit word for maintenance. Servicing that treasure of yours “your relationship” will go a long way to express the value you place on your relationship, else it will lose it relish and bliss with time.

I am passing the most needed and timely application knowledge to serious minded handlers and those lovely hearts reading this piece, this app works like the Word. Ride hard on that relationship and fan the embers with love, with divine knowledge and wisdom to keep watering your plants for healthy growth and harvest. There are very important virtues that helps to nurture and grow healthy relationships, and the important two are; Tolerance & Patience. These two are vital and are important virtues as foundational provision to keep up and preserve relationships.

See it this way, God called you and I the apple of His eyes, we share His image and likeness, He loves us so much and that is why He has been so tolerant and patience with us. Again, see it this way, He cherish us, He loves us with an everlasting love, He sees us as deserving His maintenance and care, and that is why His grace is bestowed on us. Tolerance and patience are divine virtues that we all enjoy from our Maker because He wants us to succeed in our relationship with Him and our relationship with others.

So, for the maintenance of our relationships, treat with respect, affection and tenderness what you hold in high esteem and workout possible means to keep your relationship cherished and flourishing. I love this verse of the Scripture that says where the heart of a man is, there lies his treasures. If it is worth it, then give it the best treat and give it all it takes to permeate and influence freshness and hope. Is the relationship worth all the love and tolerance, then invest your patience to care for it.  What you don’t revere will soon lose its essence and substance, what you don’t appreciate will soon depreciate. Take responsibility and apply the right values to make your relationship work and impactful, servicing and maintenance is both party’s duty to make all the difference.

Patience and Tolerance are rooted in love and love can handle any situation in defined relationships. If you have love that is defined within the lines of purpose, then to tolerate and persevere will not be a burden, but a joyful task. The lust that many mistaken for love cannot sustain relationships, lust will always reveal itself as deception and lies in the end. The love I am talking about here must be the type you believe in, it must be the very kind you have defined within the margins and borderline of purpose. This is what I mean, for God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son and whosoever believes in that LOVE will not perish. The believing here is not by mere emotions, but that of conviction of the purpose of His love for us, else issues will cluster the process of your believe or believing.

Get this fundamental truth right on love, you cannot be truly in love in a particular relationship and not give patience or tolerance a place unless it is lust. You cannot afford to stutter up the whole deal you claim to cherish and love. It is easier when you allow the spirit of both tolerance and patience to do the deal while love is expressed automatically without having to muscle your way all the time to prove a point.

Now, you have to understand how to link tolerance and patience to fulfilling purpose in life, it is called divine wisdom. Take this to the bank any time any day, it will be a waste of time and waste of other valuable resources investing your patience or tolerance on a relationship that does not cover the purpose and the will of God for your life. If it is not properly defined, again, I say, it will only end in vain, lead to pains instead of gains.

Finally on this, ladies, don’t ever make the mistake of dating or plan to marry a man you cannot respect and submit to. Please, do not go ahead. First, apply the self-agreement principles, count the cost and save the loss early enough. Because you will eventually be frustrated and even frustrate the whole process when you find out you are not living up to your duty or responsibility as a woman whom her man deserves all the respect from. Again, if you know he does not deserve your respect, do not go ahead until you have dealt with yourself over this, you cannot afford not to live up to expectation not matter the situation and that is because challenges will come.

Lack of Quality Character;

Let me begin this with an instance; if you are the type that talks to everyone and socialize with many people, for example, an extrovert, flitting from one person to another, just like a butterfly that flits on every flower. Your first duty will be to find out if your partner can cope with your living like a social butterfly before emotions sets in. For another, it might be accepted, not every shoe is your size and another man’s meat can be another man’s poison, know what works for you and work with it. You may need to deal with your flaws, adjust to suit the defined dream and that is where the sacrifice of true love comes in. But if you cannot, kindly save both lives or dreams the time and other resources and move to your size and kind.

Character is defined as the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. Character is a pattern of behavior, thoughts and feelings based on universal principles, moral strength, and integrity – plus the guts to live by those principles. I love the definition of dictionary.com it defines Character as the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing. One of such feature or trait; characteristic. Moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.

Our character is who we really are, even when no one is watching.  I have always revealed this to many sweethearts out there especially those involved in emotional relationships or love affairs. Ladies, to be fair and honest with you and for your best interest, you cannot continue to eat your cakes and still ask to have it. Overwhelming many beautiful ladies are involved in the habit of wanting their men and husbands to put up with them the way they are and if he cannot, she don't give a damn. That for me is not a healthy trait or relationship handling and i said this because, women are more victims of abuse in relationships and that is because of their unique inbuilt and wired emotions. Baby girl, stop asking him to manage or even accept you the very way you are even when you are aware that your flaws can and will degrade and diminish the productivity and prosperity of both parties and even your relationship. Don't tell him 'go to hell', if he cannot cope with your obvious demeaning behaviors, over time, if not well managed, it can spur his ego and you know what that is. There is a better you and that is the reason the both of you came together, if he is interested in your future and fulfilling you, then be ready and willing to help him bring on the real you and bring out the best in you.

Do not let your ills demean your man's ego. This is a proven truth of all time, how the "male ego" repeatedly gets a bad shawl. This is part of how men are made, and any woman who understands this truth, has just cracked the door to her man's heart. EGO is a man’s self-value and worth, his feeling of self-importance and possibly his prevalent enemy, and once it is discolored, it takes a very lengthy season to heal, rebuild and to even get restored. Rather than yellowing your man's ego in an attempt to gain control or power by exposing his prides, be wise to learn how to stroke your man's ego and help him use his self-worth positively and productively too.

Ladies, there is no wisdom in undermining or putting up any form of attack on your man’s self-worth, “his ego” he didn’t invest it in himself. His ego is divine, make him enjoy his ego trip and that is why he needs a help meet. That is why he desires a complement and not a contender or competitor, I mean a wise damsel has to be there to manage him productively. Women has more influence over their man than they feel or assume. The very moment a man falls in love with a woman, he gives her his ego to manage, he gives her easy access to his self-esteem and worth. Men take words more accurately than women and hear them in comprehensive terms. Ladies hear this, men try to live up to the image their wives or women has for them. Sweetie, be wise, know what works for your relationship, then put it to positive and productive use and feel the sweetness of your man 24/7.

The quality of a woman is in her charisma and not her structures and figures. Her invincible beauty keeps her safe and unhurt in relationship. The qualities or virtues of a woman is her currency for a lasting bliss in her relationship, and same goes to the guys. Hey bro, you need Jesus made qualities to make her proud she got a king and not just the six packs. What makes a man a man isn’t all about the Benjamin's, is not all about being a the inner room to prove you are a superman or the energetic man, but his ability to deal with every issue around him with the fear of God, deep sense of maturity, love and respect for his woman. 

To be manly means having or denoting those good qualities traditionally associated with men, such as courage, strength, and good spirit. Sir, you cannot be abusing a woman or assaulting a woman and still want to be called a man, capital NO! you aren’t a man but a young boy claiming to be a man. That could mean being maniac, a state of exhibiting extremely wild and violent behaviour not befitting the essence of a man's ego and self-worth. When a man fails to manage a relationship without abuse on a woman, he is simply mismanaging or mishandling his pride and ego as a man.

Men take note! Women be wise! Learn and know what works for you in your relationship and work with it!

Thanks for coming here to see the Second part of this timely piece; RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPIRITUAL.

Kindly stay connected with me. expect Types and kinds of relationships, Levels  and Degrees of commitments in relationships and  the 14 WHY'S of relationships.

GOD Has the BEST Plan for our lives!

Pastor Buchi Thomas